How do you do it?

I’ve been noticing a trend where a lot of persons (mostly women) recently enter my DM’s asking me the question…

“How do you balance it all?”

I’ve even gotten this question:

This question (and all like it) is usually met with absolute awe by me because… What?! Balance?! Buhahahahahahahahelpmehahahahahaha!

No but for real, I must apologize for making you guys on my social media feel like I balance my life well! I really don’t... We have no routine right now because our life is so fluid; stuff happens all the time… To be honest, as of recently, your girl has been struggling and so have a lot of aspects of my life… Blogging being one part that has been taking the hardest hit (as you probably would’ve noticed) as well as my sleep time (your girl is EXHAUSTED).

So how do I ATTEMPT to balance it all?

Well… like Gru in Despicable Me, I have a few minions *ahem* I mean… a few key people in my life who help make my life a little easier.

1. This goes without saying but my husband is the biggest piece in my support system. Let me tell you… This man can hold down a fort! When I need time, space, food… as a matter of fact, whatever I need (within reason), he’s down for it. Whenever I need time for my self care, whether at home or at the spa, I let him know and he organizes himself to suit. I’m forever grateful for this man of mine.

2. My mother. God bless her! Whenever both Leroy and I need a break or the occasions when we’re both busy or more recently, when we’re working out together (2-3 hours, 3 evenings a week), my mom would babysit her granddaughter without a complaint (unless she’s exhausted which is on a very rare occasion). It would be remiss of me to not state that she does have help from my brother and father but… we all know men and babies don’t work out for extended periods of time. I don’t know what it is!

3. My therapist… Yeah! You read that right. Therapy. To be honest, I probably should talk to my therapist a lot more often but I do love therapy. I go to Thriving Life Therapy (click the name to visit their site) - Nadiege is really the best! Most of time, she’s my sounding board and my reminder that I’m doing a good job so I really need to stop doubting myself. I tend to beat up myself a lot when things don’t go my way or if I don’t get something done (like write a blog post).

Honourable mention goes to my aunt who takes care of my baby girl during the week when hubby and I are at work. She has been instrumental in Xaryah being the brilliant child she is today and I am eternally grateful for her assistance... and she loves Xary like the daughter she never had so it’s been a perfect match.

I saw a quote recently - I can’t remember who exactly said it but it encapsulates my attitude toward motherhood and balancing it all.

“Raising a human requires feeling like a human”

… so if I don’t feel like myself, nothing can get attended to and that includes my husband, my daughter, my job, blogging, content creation, my side business, etc etc etc. so i ensure that I am feeling like myself first (remember my previous self care post?). So when you see me with my hair done, nails done, etc etc etc., know that my minions have held it down for me when I required my much needed self care time to feel like myself again. Motherhood/Parenthood requires a village; you definitely need to have a strong support system and that support system is a big part of you feeling like a human... and helping you balance it all.